Pregnant Teen. Insight from Godly Parents.
Pregnant? Not my child.
Raising a pregnant teenager was not in my plan. If you are like me, you thought you would never hear “mom I’m pregnant” from your high school daughter. After all, you had educated your daughter on sexuality. Taught your children Godly values and worked with teen pregnancies in different agencies. Now your world just flipped upside down.
I am here to tell you our God is faithful. He will get you through this. Oh, there will be hurt, maybe anger, tough choices and some mistakes. But you will have a closer relationship with your daughter if you follow God’s will.
Something wasn’t right
I love to sew. It is always fun for me to take fabric and make it into something good. That may be a quilt or clothes for my children. On the other hand, my daughter hated the thought of even going to the fabric store. She was an athlete. She had played softball since the age of nine. There were state championships, awards, and lots of recognition for her ability to pitch.
When Gwen asked if she could ride with me to the fabric store that June day, I knew something wasn’t quite right. In the short ten min. it takes to get to town, our conversation had turned from every day gab to abortion. Knowing that I had had an abortion she fully knew that I was/am against them. The topic continued to be pregnant.
We arrived at the store and I put the car in park. As I looked over at her I asked if one of her friends was pregnant. “No, I am. But if you want to go get your fabric, I will wait here until you get back.” GET FABRIC?? My mind was on overload. What did I just hear? I could see the shame and fear in those tear-filled hazel eyes. “No, I think we will just go back home”. We talked for a few more minutes about how we were going to tell her dad and brother.
Bill and I have always told our kids that no matter what happens or what they did, we will see you through it. There is nothing that can change our love for you.
She and I decided I would go in first and break the news to dad. She came into the room and saw the tears of her father who was not angry but could feel the pain of what she had been going through alone.
Walk Your Talk
Bill an I had many long talks with Gwen. We wanted the best for her and for the new life she was caring. We reinforced the importance of seeking God’s will and started to put together a list of pros and cons on what her life was going to look like based on her decisions. The number 1 decision was if she was going to keep her baby or adopt it out. Not an easy decision, but she would need guidance. After all, this had to be HER decision. We assured her we would be by her side no matter the path she chose. She decided on adoption.
Gwen took the information and chose the one she felt most met her criteria. She had chosen a young couple who were in their thirties, could not have children, and were average income. What she like best was that the husband was a teacher at a local Christian school and the wife planned to be a stay at home mom. They also were registered with an adoption agency that would give her free counseling along with helping complete all of the forms. Again, a real blessing from the Lord.
Meeting the Parents
Gwen asked Bill and I if we would meet them first. The meeting took place at the couples home. Was it awkward? Yes. Not many people (whom you do not know) show up at your door offering to have you adopt their grandchild. At no time did we ever get the impression that it was not from our Lord. This couple doused all of the fears. Now Gwen could get on with her journey to have a healthy baby.
My favorite was that we had not spent enough time in prayer. This could not be the right answer! Go Figure! Sometimes people speak without thinking. God taught us to keep our mouth shut and to ask His forgiveness. We knew they had good intentions but our decision had come from the One we trusted the most. Plus Gwen had total peace. When our wonderful baby boy decided to come three weeks early, our church family came. They stayed with us through the whole process praying and lifted our spirits while giving us great encouragement.
Teen pregnancy has not changed. Because it is hard for all involved. If you know or have a young person who is going through this situation, please remember to put them totally in God’s hands. It is not about you nor your decisions but about loving them the way Christ would love and treat them.
What We Learned
As a result, we learned to trust when all seems so dark. Help the person look at her options. Pray with her. Encourage her. Do not just leave her to find her own answers. Satan is quick to tell her the worlds option but she needs to know our God is faithful and will meet all of her needs. If you or someone you know is going through a teen pregnancy, please feel free to contact me. I would love to visit and help with working together for the best solution.